I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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