he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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