Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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