zippers are such a cool invention
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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