his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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