anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
