I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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