As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
