we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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