I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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