Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
