And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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