Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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