I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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