You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
