and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize