Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
