Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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