You can't motorboat a personality
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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