he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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