hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I want her autograph on my taint
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize