PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Me too!
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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