Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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