don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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