My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
