Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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