we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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