Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
