so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
