So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
