I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
