she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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