My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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