I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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