so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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