So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
