Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
