We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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