Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize