I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
