So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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