no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
they call him Oral-B. enough said
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize