Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
