I cannot find my penis.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My ass is underappreciated
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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