Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize