i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
