she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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