I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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