My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
