He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Randomize
