Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize