So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
