im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
