I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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