white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
What a dumb baby whore.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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