dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
