you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
When are your genitals available?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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