My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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