WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
